Conspiracies Abound...

While watching the news this morning I saw an amateur video I found amusing. A Florida fisherman was playfully using his oar to prod a wild goose when the goose suddenly leaped at the man in a flurry of wings, webbed feet, and beak, causing the startled man to fall out of the canoe. This brought to mind Tim Bedore, who in the aftermath of several Asian carp attacks on innocent fisherman along the Mississippi River and it's tributaries a few years ago, coupled with a few other apparently random incidents of bizarre animal/human encounters, came up with the animal conspiracy theory.
His theory, simply stated, is that wild animals, tired of millenia of mistreatment at the hands of we humans, have organized under the leadership of the ever so wily squirrels, and intend to kill us.
Being the fine comedian that he is, I can only assume that Mr. Bedore intended this theory as a tongue in cheek exercise (although I must admit, he does make some compelling arguments), and I'm sure this Floridian goose will soon find it's way into Mr. Bedore's website and PowerPoint presentation. Mr. Bedore's conspiracy theory is a good one, and like most Americans, I like a good conspiracy theory. Americans, it seems, like good conspiracy theories so much that they have spawned a slew of cottage industries.
Take your pick of any subject and I'm sure there is a book, website, or documentary DVD out there for the conspiracy buff. UFO's? An alien spacecraft crashed outside Roswell and the government is covering it up. Apollo 11? A hoax perpetrated to dupe the Soviet Union. Elvis? Last seen alive and well at the brunch buffet of a Ramada Inn in 2003.
No modern event, however, has spawned as many conspiracy theories as that which transpired on Dealy Plaza in Dallas, Texas in November of 1963. The Crazy has recently undertaken a survey of just a handful of theories that have sprung from this tragic event and the results are surprising. As Oswald watched the Presidential motorcade make it's way down Elm street, there were no fewer than three French assassins hired and imported by organized crime bosses watching from the grassy knoll. The CIA had also brought in their own guns, a handful of Cuban exiles, survivors of the botched Bay of Pigs invasion, that the Agency kept on part-time as "mechanics". And yet another theory (verified by a quick perusal of the books in the history section of my local library) has one of the President's own Secret Service agents pulling the trigger.
What conclusion do we at The Crazy draw from the preponderance of all this evidence: We still don't know who killed Kennedy, but you couldn't throw a rock on Dealy Plaza that day without hitting an assassin. Ciao for now.

The preceding Blog entry way sent to us by Dan, a snow removal technician and sometime contributor to The Crazy Said What!?!